It’s so easy to hold onto a person or a behavior when it provides you with so much comfort. While it can add stability to life, if what you’re holding onto is toxic, it only brings negativity into your life. I have found that I am one to hold onto these bad things, both physically and emotionally, in my life. Finding ways to let go can allow you to be happier, healthier, and generally more positive.
By no means am I an expert at removing negativity and only focusing on positivity. Honestly, I am still working on all of these things and trying to remember the importance of choosing happiness, every day. This is one of those posts where I’m writing it for myself, in hopes that it resonates with you, too.
Here’s what I’ve learned.
First thing’s first, you should never do anything you don’t want to do. Whether that be talking to someone, spending time with someone, or going out when you’d rather stay in; you don’t have to do any of that. Always choose to spend your time you way, in a way that brings you the most joy.
Relationships are hard to make and sometimes even harder to break. There’s a famous quote, “surround yourself with only people who are going to life you higher.” Holding onto long term relationships brings a certain sense of comfort. It’s so easy to overlook the negative way someone makes you feel when you have so much history. People have a way of putting others down, sometimes without notice. If a friend does pull you down instead of lift you up, it may be time to re-evaluate the friendship. Friendships are supposed to be fun, supportive, loving, and happy, not full of situations you dread being in.
Social media is great, but it’s also so easy to fall down the rabbit hole. We’re pretty much connected to everyone via social media. We can see the profiles of old friends, exes, our exes new significant others, and we also have visibility to strangers. Comparing ourselves to others is the worst possible thing for us to do. Social media magic makes things appear to be perfect, but we really shouldn’t be comparing someone’s chapter 10 to our chapter 1. While I love social media, it’s important to remember that we have no idea what’s going on behind the photo.
If you’re like me, then many objects hold memories of past events. I have held onto photos, gifts, letters, and so on, from past friendships and relationships. Getting rid of these objects is usually hard because they often represent a happy moment in time. I don’t throw away every memory I have, but there are some things that I no longer need to hold onto to make me happy every day. It’s refreshing to get rid of something negative that you’ve held onto for so long. I love to hold onto the good things, but it’s definitely time to get rid of the bad.
For me, this is a learning process. I constantly struggle with holding onto the negative things in life. I’ve found that the most important parts of growing up are learning, moving on, putting yourself first, and most importantly, choosing to be happy every single day.